It’s the weekend and we have to go out. To that new restaurant, to that birthday party. Because who wants a boring weekend? And more importantly, who wants to miss out? But lately, something has been changing. From the US, through to Australia: we’re staying home and we’re happy about it. Is our perception of what a nice weekend is changing? And with it, the stigma that staying home is boring?

In 2024, a woman wondered if she was alone with the newfound feeling of wanting to stay home on weekends. “Anyone else just love to do nothing on weekends?” was the question she asked in TikTok. She added: “Is it age? Or is everyone feeling this way?” The response was huge. So many people felt the same way. And they were glad someone asked.

Turns out, more similar questions were brewing on social media. Like this one on reddit in 2023: “Does anyone else get teased for staying in vs going out? People act like it’s such a crime to enjoy being home. I pay rent, so why wouldn’t I want to be at home during my free time?”

Some of the responses were also quite telling: “Nope, not anymore. I stand my ground on my downtime and love it. Others seem to respect it/ even relate.” Or this one: “One thing I have noticed is that I often get people calling me weird for not going out much. But it’s perfectly okay if a couple doesn’t go out much. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I have to go out a lot, does it? ” And this one: “I’m late 30s and I had completely forgotten how some people would judge others for not going out all the time.”

The new weekend

It seems we have started to embrace a new weekend and how we fill in our spare time.

In the UK for instance, a survey by holidaycottages.co.uk revealed in 2019 that people’s weekends were no longer around “long nights out,” or “drinking with friends until the early hours.” Referring to the study, the author of a blog called “Staying in the new going out” wrote: “Today, it’s more about saving money, and self care. We are taking more time to focus on our health (both mental and physical). So we feel better, are more productive, and are more proactive in creating a positive environment for ourselves,” she added.

“We welcome the opportunity to finally read a book from beginning to end. To finally take that leisurely walk or relax in front of the TV.” These are some of the reasons for our more recent perspective changes, cited in a StudyFinds post. It was called “staying home is the new going out” and it shows too how our new weekend looks.

“There is more time for self-development and hobbies. The chance to learn to appreciate our own company. A chance to discover what truly makes us happy. The opportunity to create more genuine friendships. Less stress from having to force ourselves to be someone we’re not.” These were some of the new-found benefits reported in a 2024 listicle on MSN. It was called ”Things that happen when you stop forcing yourself to be social.” Overall, according to the post, we can expect improved energy levels.

“It’s more about saving money and self care. We feel better, are more productive, and are more proactive in creating a positive environment for ourselves.”

Is the stigma about our weekend disappearing?

So, with out new found weekend, is the stigma changing with it?

“We’re a bunch of “Pikers”… and we’re okay with it!” reported McCrindle already in 1016. [Editor: In Australian slang, a Piker stands for someone who spoils a party. Someone who does not want to always join in with others]. “Television is now an accepted and even preferred form of entertainment in our busy lives,” wrote the author. Adding how technology has “redefined our social interactions.”

Going out and our spare time

The old perspective

“I’ve got laundry to do.” “I’ve got to wait for a package delivery.” “I didn’t realise it was today.” Examples by MSN of the excuses we use to not have to go out.

61% lied in the past about wanting to stay home. Most gave false stories about a wild night out when they had stayed in and read a book. 73% had run away from a social event so they could go home with a takeaway meal instead. 67% had feigned illness in the past. The majority said that even if they did admit to staying at home, they would only do so the last minute. 76% said they had agreed to a night out knowing full well they wouldn’t go. A 2018 British study into “how much effort people go to to avoid wild evenings” by holidaycottages.co.uk

71% often hoped that social plans would be cancelled. StudyFinds, Staying In is the New Going Out on an American study.

10% and 17% preferred to keep quiet on social media about staying in. The majority waited until the last minute to turn down an invitation, or had someone else do it for them. Most avoided contact with the person who had invited them. Study by Australian market researcher McCrindle.

The new perspective

“Study: More than 31% of people prefer staying in alone watching TV over going out with friends.” Daily Caller, US, 2020.

“3 in 4 prefer to stay in over going out, survey finds.” CBS News, US, 2022

“Eight in ten Americans agree they actually prefer to have a night in with friends these days rather than go out on the town.” Yahoo!life, US, 2022

“Is the party over? Havas study finds 47% of Aussie Gen Zs prefer to stay in on the weekend.” Australian news publisher B&T in 2024

In a post about a study by Mintel in 2018 it was similarly mentioned how younger Americans were embracing a “new anti-nightlife culture.” How suddenly not going out is cool, or at least it’s not cool.”

Another 2024 post by Upworthy also showed that people had started to rather stay home than go out on the weekend. It explained how more people “simply no longer feel social obligations in the same way.” And that they now “feel more comfortable embracing their favourite way of recharging.”

Meanwhile, in their post, holidaycottages.co.uk similarly referred to such new perspectives. Stating that staying home was now “becoming a widely accepted way to spend the weekends.” The author also wrote: “It is clear that there has been a significant shift in consumer behaviour recently. 65% of our research group also reported experiencing JOMO (joy of missing out). With quiet evenings alone with Netflix for company, a face mask and snacks.”

“We’re a bunch of “Pikers”… and we’re okay with it!”

Conclusion

Some experts call our new habits of staying indoors a new development, not a trend. “As we write in mid-2024, lockdowns have long since ended,” these researchers wrote. “And the most important development may be a permanent shift away from out-of-home activities,” they added. In conclusion, they wrote: “Remote work, online education, and streaming video. But also teleshopping, Zoom parties and the like may all prove here to stay.”

Of course, a night out with people you like has its benefits. And staying home alone too much is not good for everyone. But what if going out has become an obligation or a social pressure? What if, being honest with ourselves, we’re just not that type of person to go out every weekend? What if we don’t really know what it feels like to stay home?

Or, as Dr. Marisa G. Franco wrote in “You can stop forcing yourself to socialize“: “For many, it’s time to let go of the guilt. It’s also time to let go of the pressure to socialise.” As an expert on human connection, she offers enlightening advice. That yes, we all need human connection to be healthy. But everything in balance: “You can stop forcing yourself to socialise….take it easy and pay attention to the level of social contact that feels best for you.”

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