We disagree on a certain issue and want to make our opinion heard. So, we should join forces and form an anti-group. Right? After all, we have to take a stand and make ourselves heard. But does this mean other approaches won’t work? When it comes to expressing our opinions, has the them-and-us approach had its day?

There are times when we disagree with others as a group. Whether at a local or national level, or internationally, our opinion is different. It is our habit to organise ourselves in such a case. To spend hours together or online, to formulate our message clearly. And print it on a T-shirt and wear it with pride. To let the other party know that we disagree. After all, we have to make a change, stand up for our rights. After all, history has shown us that the ‘angry mob’ and an anti-rights approach has brought change. On issues that matter to us.

Now stop and listen to my opinion will you

But does anyone ever wonder what the negative side of this opinion voicing approach is? That we put ourselves in the ‘us’ position? And that this automatically blocks the other, the ‘them’, from what we have to say? That from the start it will keep them from really absorbing our message? That it will merely encourage that biased response we all have as humans to confirm our own beliefs? And that this will happen on both them and us sides? Do we make them stop listening to us?

Finally the penny can drop

Would the reader of this type of message see and understand our perspective in a clear way? Can it even plant a seed so that the penny would eventually drop for them? If we give our views on the issue in this way, the recipient can now even see aspects to it that they haven’t before? Details of it that would even work against them? Hey, we will even be doing them a favour.

Has the time come to stop thinking from a them-and-us approach, and calmly work towards a solution instead? It would certainly free up our time and energy to spend on other things. Who knows, doing it this way can make the world a better place. It can help pave the way for solutions instead of self-perpetuating dramas and conflicts.

Image courtesy of Pexels, Juan Cordero

About the author

Mary Contrary just knows. Or maybe she has no idea. Who knows? In any case, she likes to think about life and see it from different perspectives. Being a little contrary has never hurt anyone, she says. Mary lives in a beautiful country, with her dog and lovely acquaintances around her, and together they enjoy watching the bat show at dusk with a glass of sherry.

Image courtesy of Pexels, Beyzaa Yurtkuran

Check out more Random Life Perspectives here